A Guide To Pegging From A Real Pegger Dom
What is Pegging?
In the simplest terms, pegging is when a woman wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates her partner anally. The definition used to pertain more specifically to genders but that has since evolved and the term is used more broadly now, and the term is now considered gender neutral
Pegging challenges the status quo by subverting the traditional power dynamics of the male being the penetrator and the woman being the receiver.
Switching the roles around can be extremely empowering for a woman to feel like the alpha over the male. The feeling of control and power plus the constant clitoral stimulation from the thrusting of the dildo is enough to send many over the edge.
Why Do People Try Pegging?
For the guys, pegging is about stimulating the prostate and reaching orgasm. Some of the more comfortable men will definitely be curious and find it interesting to be on the receiving end of penetration. Some women can feel greatly empowered by the act and take satisfaction in it, and the guy gets his prostate stimulated.
Reaching orgasm through prostate play is one of the most intense and euphoric experiences a man can feel. The prostate Is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and the penis. The prostate is just in front of the rectum and the easiest way to reach it is through the anus. The prostate’s job is to secrete fluid that nourishes and protects the sperm during ejaculation. However, by stimulating the prostate directly you can achieve greater contractions and greater pleasure. These types of orgasms are said to be absolutely mind-altering. Unfortunately, as mentioned earlier the best way to reach the prostate is through the anus. This is a big problem for a lot of men and can be a difficult obstacle to overcome.
Communication
We all have fantasies in our minds that we would love to play out, some of us are more shy about it than others. Communication is the most important factor in a relationship and key beginning exploration with each other. For men to get over the mental barrier of anal play can be a really challenging hurdle so offering your support as best you can, will go a long way. Regardless of how comfortable you are with your partner, always make sure to talk about any toys or types of play you want to try before getting started. It can be all fun and games until you suddenly whip out a harnessed dildo and scare your boyfriend away.
How to Approach
Approaching the subject, whether pegger or pegee can be a difficult and awkward task. This is often the biggest hurdle to most couples beginning any sort of sexual exploration and deserves to be talked about a lot more than it is mentioned.
The fear of opening up and being “awkward” and “weird” is stifling and prevents so much growth from happening. Be welcoming, open, and accepting of each other’s wishes and expectations. In a case where even a couple is quite comfortable with each other, the idea of anal play can quickly steer things in another direction.
It’s best to approach the subject tactfully and gauge interest before jumping in. Always be prepared that you may get shot down rather quickly, due to a gut or stereotypical reaction. If this happens make sure you do not overreact and calmly explain your thoughts on the subject. This calm explanation can often be enough to give it a second thought, especially if you start explaining why you are interested.
A great way for a couple that is comfortable and open to start experimenting and gauging interest is to ask their partner’s permission to use your finger to stimulate them. Convincing them may be the hardest step because once you can stimulate his prostate, he won’t be able to get enough of it. Once your partner is comfortable with you and your hands, you can start to introduce toys into the mix.
Remember pegging is advanced and you don’t want to hurt your partner, instead, easing them into it slowly is the key to victory here. If your partner becomes comfortable with toys then the next step is introducing your desire to be on top. If your partner hears how interested you are in this and is already used to some anal play, I’m certain they will agree to give it a try.
If you are uncertain how your partner will react to the idea of anal play then a more tactful approach is needed. Try offering to shop online or in-store for some sex toys, I’m certain that won’t take much convincing. Once you are browning through toys, you could point a toy out, feign curiosity and see what his reaction is. You might even be pleasantly surprised that he is familiar with it and this could offer an opportunity to press further. On the other hand, it could be a clear indicator of his disinterest.
Another approach would be to touch the subject after sex, during pillow talk, and such. Using lines like “It feels so good when you penetrate me, I wonder what it would feel like be able to be inside of you” and “Don’t you ever wonder what it feels like to be on the receiving end?” Those types of lines are going to give you pretty clear indicators of his interest in the subject. I’ve actually heard that in plenty of situations guys often ask “what does it feel like to be penetrated?” which is a great entry to talking about pegging. With a stubborn partner be sure to reiterate what YOU enjoy about it and why you want to try it.
What Will I Need For Pegging?
Now that the most difficult part of communicating is over, and both parties are feeling greatest and super relieved, the fun can begin. It’s time to break out the toys and start going wild. Unless you’ve never done this before and don’t know where to proceed after convincing your partner you want to stick something up their butt. I’ll go over a brief list of what you will need to get started and name some suggestions for beginners.
#1. Lube
The anus does not self-lubricate, this means lube is 100% required. Do not try doing this to your partner without the proper lube, you will hurt them and they will never agree to any butt stuff ever again. The tissue in the anal canal is super thin and delicate and very prone to microtears. If these tears get infected it can be a really ugly time afterward.
When it comes to choosing a lube for anal sex, a thicker lube will last longer between reapplications while a thinner lube will feel better but need to be reapplied more often. Remember when using silicone toys, that oil-based lubes can degrade your toys however it is fine to use on metal and glass. Water-based lubes are the most reliable when any sort of condoms or toys are involved as you can be sure the integrity of both will be kept intact.
System JO H2O Water-Based Anal Lube
A thick long-lasting water-based lube for all sorts of anal play. This water-based lube is safe to use with any toys and condoms, has no scent, and lasts a long time before needing to be reapplied. This is a great budget choice for lube and gets the job done.
Gun Oil H20 Water-Based Lube
Gun oil became famous for its silicone-based lube. This time around gun oil created a highly concentrated water-based lube that is designed to stay slick for longer. Having no scent or flavor, the H20 Gun Oil Lube is completely neutral. The lube has some extra ingredients mixed in such as ginseng and guarana giving you a natural energy boost and enhanced stimulation.
This water-based lube is not the goopy lube that everyone pictures in their minds. Gun Oil makes quality products and the H20 formula is slick and long-lasting making it a great choice for those on a slightly higher budget and still working with silicone toys and condoms.
Pjur Back Door Relaxing Anal Glide Lube
This silicone-based lubricant is designed for pain-free anal play. The jojoba extracts in the lube have a relaxing effect. This plus the silky smooth feel of the silicone lubricant makes any sort of anal play a breeze to start. Many condom manufacturers use silicone-based lubes in their condemns so the myth that silicone-based lubes are not condom safe is a little bit far-fetched. The silicone based lubes are far pricier but they have many benefits over water-based lubes worth exploring.
#2. Compatible Dildo
The second most important piece we need is of course the penetrating piece. Make sure the one you choose is compatible with the harness you have selected as well. If unsure of compatibility there are plenty of options of dildos and strapons sold together to ensure no mix-ups. I presented two options this time around that would be great entry points into pegging.
Lovehoney Curved Silicone Suction Cup Dildo 5.5 Inch
This is a slimmer and smaller than standard dildo for strap-ons. The reason I am suggesting this one is that a lot of men are going to have a difficult time for the first time and the size of this dildo is a great place to begin getting used to the feeling.
To wear it with a strap-on a 1.25” o-ring is needed to ensure proper fit with the harness. Once accustomed to the feeling it is easy to move up and grab a bigger more satisfying toy when needed, it’s all about taking small steps.
Desire Luxury Rechargeable Strapless Strap-on Dildo Vibrator
This is a unique entry into the strap-on section and I wanted to include it. This vibrator does not have any straps but actually sits inside of you while the small rabbit ears pleasure the wearer.
The whole toy is waterproof and has 8 vibration patterns with 12 different speed settings. This is an interesting toy and offers a lot more satisfaction for the wearer than a regular strap-on dildo would. This is a good option for the ladies who need a little extra to enjoy being on top of their partners.
#3. Compatible Harness
Once your choice is made you need to be sure your harness is compatible with the dildo you chose. Usually, it should not be a problem as an O-ring is often the only thing required for a seamless fit. There are many options for harnesses from the inexpensive plastic buckle ones to hand-crafted leather harnesses. Your choice should be based on how often you expect to get use out of it, compatibility with dildos, and lastly budget.
Lovehoney Universal Stap-on Harness
This simple harness is a budget-friendly strap-on harness and has 3 o-rings (1.25”, 1.75”, 2”) for varying sizes of dildos. The harness fits between 28” to 65” or dress size 6-28. This harness is the simplest and cheapest way to get into the world of strap-on adventures. THis is a great start for couples just looking to get into it and try out if it is something they will enjoy.
This super stylish and elegant harness crafter right here in the US is more refined and for those interested in a bit more class in their sex toy equipment. The harness also accepts toys from 1.25”- 2” in diameter.
This strap-on harness accepts most dildos and doesn’t require the traditional flared edge most strap-on dildos use for fitting. This means you can use more varied choices and possibly find a dildo that is more perfectly shaped to your partner’s needs. Regardless of what dildo to use, this harness is a luxurious piece and for those who are sure they will spend time using these toys and enjoying each other.
Conclusion
Pegging can be a lot of fun for both parties involved and offers insurmountable pleasure for men. For women pegging offers a chance to feel empowered and flip the generally accepted social standards of sex. Pegging can be a lot of fun for sure but to get there can be challenging. The most important and difficult task will be to convince your partner to give it a try. With open lines of communication and a little bit of bravery, the most difficult part will be out of the way and only pleasure awaits.
Always be sure to have clear communication, signals, and understanding before moving into the fun stuff. Once everyone has consented, all that is left is to break out the harness and toys and lube everything up. Using a numbing lube for an absolute beginner might be a good idea as the initial pain can be a bit overwhelming. That being said, be extra careful when using lubes with any numbing properties as it can be hard to feel if something is going wrong. With that out of the way, I wish you fun in flipping gender roles and enjoying experimenting with each other.