How To Choose Your Lube: Water, Silicone, & Oil Based Explained
Seeking info on the most underestimated product that can help sex go from just good to insanely satisfying? You’ve come to the right place.
Take it from me readers, personal lubricant is the secret that will help you unlock better sex, solo sessions, and sex toy play.
But, choosing the right lube for your erotic endeavors is not as simple as it may sound. As life changing as lube can feel during sex, depending on which lube you are using for which sex act, there can be a such thing as the wrong lube for you. Today we're going to talk about how to help you sift through the endless varieties of lube haunting each online store or sex shop you visit.
Be confident that the only side effect of the lube you choose is sex that feels amazing.
Who Should Use Lube?
The short answer to this question is everyone. Every sexually active person has a reason to be using lube.
Unfortunately though, lube often gets a bad rep or is completely forgotten when folks are looking for new alternatives to take their pleasure sensations up a notch.
The amount of times that I’ve stumbled upon posts by people who are seeking out ways to make sex more enjoyable for them or their partner, only to brush off different types of lube when they are suggested truly drives me bonkers.
The theory behind lube is simple: sex, whether it is with a partner, yourself, or a sex toy, inherently involves friction. This friction can cause irritation or discomfort, which is where lube steps in to help by making everything more smooth and cushiony.
Even people who feel like they produce enough personal lubricant during sex can benefit from lube. In the world of personal lubricant, there is no such thing as “too much of a good thing”.
There are also situations where lube is truly unavoidable. These can include anal sex and playing with sex toys or certain conditions that make folks more susceptible to vaginal dryness (whether that be due to a change in hormones, menopause, birth control or post pregnancy).
No matter your reason for using lube, remember that it is nothing to be embarrassed about. Whether you need a little extra help keeping things wet and ready down there, or you just want to treat yourself to ultra smooth and glidey sex, using personal lubricant is totally normal. So go ahead, do your thing, and use generous amounts of lube without shame!
Different Types of Lube
There is no “one size fits all” approach to personal lubricant, which can make lube shopping a bit of a challenge.
Here are some of the questions you need to consider before choosing your lube:
If you are starting to feel overwhelmed by all these variables, don’t be. Learning about the different types of lubes and their unique purposes is made easy by familiarizing yourself with the three main categories of personal lubricant: water based lube, silicone based lube, and oil based lube.
Let’s go over each, and cover what these types of lubes should and should not be used for.
Water Based Lube
Water based lube is incredibly versatile, gentle, and effective at keeping all sorts of sexual acts that much more smooth and slippery, which is why I often tell newbie lube users to start here.
You can use water based lube confidently in all sorts of sexy scenarios. This personal lubricant is safe for use with sex toys, safe to use during penetration with your partner, and great to add more lubrication to your masturbation sessions too.
Worried about your bed sheets, couch fabric, or pricy lingerie? Water based lube has your back here, too. Because this lube is mostly water, it washes off most materials easily and does not leave stains.
Even better news, water based lube is safe to use with condoms, which is really important because the last thing you want is your personal lubrication getting in the way of your protection.
Now, here are some of the situations where you may want to pass on water based lube: I have found it to be pretty useless during sex in any kind of water (think shower sex, sex in a hot tub, etc.) because it immediately washes away.
When I use water based lube for longer love-making sessions, the texture of this product does begin to feel sticky over time, which is another scenario that you might consider using a different based lube for.
Otherwise, water based lube is an excellent choice for folks who have more sensitivities to different types of lube or any product for that matter. It is great for people with sensitive skin who like to avoid skin products with unnecessary additives, the risk of water based lube irritating your genitals is very low.
Silicone Based Lube
In comparison to water based lube, silicone is a lot thicker and longer lasting. This makes silicone based lube ideal for your marathon sexcapades when the last thing you want to worry about is needing to reapply lube again and again.
Silicone based lube is also your best friend when it comes to anal sex. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not naturally lubricate itself, which is why lube is 100% necessary for anal play.
Because of silicone based lube’s thick and cushiony texture, it's the lube I reach for when I want anal sex to feel comfortable and frictionless for the entire session.
As well, if you like to explore sex underwater, silicone based lube is essential. This lube does not wash away easily, making it ultra effective if you want some extra glide during your hot and steamy shower sessions.
A reminder: be careful that you are not accidentally dripping this lube onto the ground, because silicone lube does its job so well that it will make any surface it comes in contact with very slippery, and thus a safety hazard.
On the flip side, silicone based lube’s ability to resist water also makes it difficult to clean off of yourself after sex and will require some scrubbing with soap. It doesn't play nice with certain more delicate surfaces and fabrics, which is important to keep in mind before selecting silicone based lube.
A final warning about silicone based lube: do not use any of silicone lube products on your silicone coated sex toys. While it may sound counterintuitive, silicone lube breaks down silicone toys and will quickly damage their exterior. To keep your sex toys good as new, opt for using toys with a water based lube instead.
Oil Based Lube
Oil based lube is more similar in consistency to silicone than water based, making it another great option when you need some long lasting glide.
Purchase an oil based lube if you need a personal lubricant for solo sessions (double check by reading the label if the particular product is toy compatible, most oil based lubes are) and unprotected penetrative sex.
If a long list of ingredients you can’t pronounce is a red flag for you when it comes to choosing lube, oil based lubes may also be the way to go. A lot of oil types of lubes are now also plant based, and popular natural ingredients include aloe vera, coconut oil, sunflower seed oil, and even hemp oil.
Oil based lubes have one more incredibly pleasuring purpose: these types of lubes double as a high quality massage oil. You can use oil based lubes liberally during foreplay by slathering your partner’s back, shoulders, inner thighs or whichever erogenous zones you want to relax and awaken before you get to the main event.
As we now know, no types of lubes are perfect. When it comes to the oil based kinds, you’ll want to be very careful to not use an oil based lube with a condom. Latex and oil are not friends, so if you are using any method of latex birth control (dental dams included), pick up a water based lube instead to keep you and your partner safe.
As you can probably also imagine, oil based lubes can be a headache to wash out of bed sheets and off of your skin, so be prepared to need to put a bit more effort into cleanup after using these types of lubes.
Is it Safe to Use Lube?
You get as intimate with your lube as you do with your partner, so you want to be extra sure that whatever ingredients are in those types of lubes are body safe.
While using lube is completely safe and common practice for a lot of people, there are a few ingredients that you want to look out for when choosing your lube.
Unlike other skin care products, the lube market is not required to follow very strict regulations and as a result you tend to get a lot of variation with the quality of ingredients different types of lubes will include.
In particular, you want to avoid types of lubes that list the following ingredients because they may cause a higher risk of irritation:
You also want to look out for types of lubes that market themselves as pH balanced, bonus points if they display their pH level transparently on the label.
Throwback to high school science: the vagina has its own pH level that indicates the range that allows for healthy bacteria growth.
When the vagina’s pH level is thrown out of sorts (which can sometimes happen from a lower quality lube), it puts you at higher risk of getting treatable but annoying conditions like yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis.
Normally, the vagina has a 3.8 to 4.5 pH level; buying types of lubes that have the same pH level can keep things healthy and balanced down there.
The Bottom Line
A desire to experience all possible pleasuring sensations during sex is reason enough to introduce personal lubricant into your sex life.
While the wide range of types of lubes available to consumers can be intimidating at first, it is easy to narrow down your choices between oil, silicone, and water based lubes once you know their individual strengths and weaknesses.
And, when in doubt, I say buy one of each. You can’t go wrong with an arsenal of lubes at your side to make all kinds of sex feel that much more orgasmic!