Shopping For Your First Vibrator – A Comprehensive Guide

Shopping For Your First Vibrator – A Comprehensive Guide, June 2021

Shopping for your first vibrator, either for yourself or for someone special, can be a daunting prospect.

As sex toys continue to rise in popularity, it becomes simultaneously easier and harder to make a good decision.

Sure, you can now avoid that awkward visit to a seedy, back-street sex shop and purchase online from a respectable store instead.

The problem now is that your choices are seemingly endless. Bullets, rabbits, wands; there are so many enticing designs it can be difficult to know what to go for.

Then you need to consider certain features, like settings, power levels and materials. It can all be a little overwhelming.

I’ve been using vibrators for over a decade now and have played with hundreds in that time.

It’s fair to say I have learned a thing or two along the way. 

I want to share that knowledge so that you can avoid making the same mistakes that I did.

In this guide, we will take a look at the main vibrator categories, who they would be best suited to and what you should avoid depending on your desires. 

We will also look at the questions you should ask yourself before making a purchase, so that you walk away with a vibrator that most closely suits your needs.

Let’s start by taking a look at the main categories of vibrator and who they would be best suited for:

Bullet Vibrators

Bullet Vibrators are often recommended to beginners because they are compact in size, unintimidating to look at and often cheap to purchase.

They are also incredibly simple to use. Most come with a single operating button which will cycle through the various settings when pressed.

Bullet vibrators are usually made from a rigid material, such as plastic and/or metal and are most commonly used for pin-point stimulation.

Bullet vibrators can sometimes be paired with other sex toys (such as cock rings and vibrating panties), so they are pretty versatile too.

Recommended to: Bullet vibrators would best suit those who prefer direct, pin-point stimulation. They are often used for clitoral stimulation, but they can also be used to tease other erogenous zones.


If you are searching for a vibrator to use on your clitoris during penetration, then the bullet vibrator would be a good choice. It won’t take up too much space between your legs, or block the entrance to your vagina like some larger vibrators can do.

Avoid if: If you want a vibrator that can be used internally, you should avoid bullet vibrators. Due to their small size, I wouldn’t recommend inserting them into the body.

Bullet vibrators should also be avoided if you prefer broad stimulation, or crave intense power. There are some bullets available that do pack a punch, but most emit gentle to moderate intensity vibrations.

Vibrating Eggs

Vibrating eggs (also known as love eggs) are similar to Kegel balls, but they are designed to provide pleasure rather than a workout.

Vibrating eggs come in a wide variety of styles, but they usually have a couple of things in common. First of all, the vibrator will be rounded or oval in shape.

This feature makes the egg suitable for internal use as well as clitoral stimulation.

Secondly, most vibrating eggs come with remote control. The remote may operate wirelessly, or come attached to the egg via a body-safe cord.

If you intend to use your vibrating egg internally, it is important to check that it comes with a decent retrieval cord, made from materials. The last thing you want is for it to snap during use, or cause irritation during wear.

Recommended to: Those who want a versatile vibrator, capable of providing internal and external stimulation. Vibrating eggs are also great for couple’s looking to experiment, as you can hand the remote control to your partner and allow him/her to control the stimulation. Due to their small size and unintimidating design, I would also recommend the vibrating egg to beginners.

Avoid if: Due to their size and shape, vibrating eggs can often be difficult to grasp and control during use. This is especially true when they get wet. If you prefer to thrust or jiggle your vibrator during use, the vibrating egg might not be the best choice for you.

Classic Vibrators

Classic Vibrators are a lot like bullet vibrators; they are usually smooth, streamlined and made from a rigid material.

The biggest difference is the size. Classic vibrators are larger than bullets, so they can be used for internal stimulation as well as clitoral play.

Although they are larger than bullets, the classic vibrator is still relatively slender (circumferences range from approximately 2.5 inches to 4.5 inches).

With an unintimidating size and shape, the classic vibrator would be an ideal choice for beginners and those who prefer a slimmer sex toy for penetration.

Recommended to: If you are looking for a vibrator that you can thrust with but you don’t like being stretched too much, the classic vibrator would be a great choice.

Most classic vibrators come with a basic, non-anatomical design, making them suitable for beginners and those who stay away from realistic looking sex toys. The classic vibrator can be used for clitoral and internal stimulation, making it a great choice for those who want a versatile sex toy.

Avoid if: Classic vibrators are usually made from rigid materials, so I would avoid them if prefer softer, squishier materials. If your mantra is, “The bigger, the better” I would also stay away from the classic vibrator.

G-Spot Vibrators

G-spot vibrators come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, but most will feature a curved shaft or an angled tip, to help you locate and stimulate the g-spot.

Almost any internal vibrator can be used to apply direct stimulation to the anterior wall of the vagina, but a curved one will do most of the hard work for you.

Before purchasing a g-spot vibrator, have a think about the kind of stimulation you are seeking.

If you prefer it firm, hard and/or fast, it might be best to choose a rigid g-spot vibrator with a slimmer shaft and very little texture (e.g. the Lelo Mona Wave).

If you prefer rumbling sensations and less pressure, look for a g-spot vibrator with a little more texture and flexibility (e.g the Fun Factory G5 Tiger Vibrator).

Recommended to: The g-spot vibrator will focus its intensity into the anterior wall of the vagina, so the stimulation feels more direct and precise. If you are seeking this type of sensation, the g-spot vibrator would be ideal.

Avoid if: You want to simulate penis-in-vagina penetration. G-spot vibrators can be used to thrust with, but the slimmer, smoother shaft might leave you craving more. For some, the direct pressure applied to the anterior wall of the vagina is a little too overwhelming, so they are forced to slow down or stop. If you prefer a more rounded, inclusive sensation, the g-spot vibrator might not be for you.

Realistic And Semi-Realistic Vibrators

Realistic vibrators are designed to look and feel like a real penis. They often have a defined glans/coronal ridge, a visible frenulum and even some veining throughout the shaft.

Some may even come with testicles. Semi-realistic vibrators are designed to resemble a real penis, but they usually lack one or two of the features previously mentioned.

Most realistic vibrators are made from a softer, squishier material, to give them a life-like feel.

However, the material quality can vary dramatically from brand to brand (more on this later).

Recommended to: Those who are seeking the most realistic experience, both visually and tactilely.

Avoid if: For some, the realistic design can add to their fun. For others, the disembodied penis look can be a little off-putting. If you are shopping for a partner and you are not sure how they feel about realistic sex toys, it might be best to err on the side of caution and choose a non-anatomical design at first.

Rabbit Vibrators And Dual Stimulators

A dual stimulator is designed to provide internal and clitoral stimulation at the same time. Just like g-spot vibrators, the dual stimulator varies dramatically in shape, style, size and quality.

Rabbit vibrators are so named because the clitoral stimulator attached to the main shaft resembles a pair of bunny ears.

Rabbit vibrators are extremely popular, so it is no surprise that manufacturers have spent time developing new designs based on an old favourite.

Some examples include the Ohmibod Lovelife Adventure and the Swan Whooper vibrator.

Recommended to: If you enjoy having something inside you during clitoral masturbation, the dual stimulator would be ideal for you.

Avoid if: If you need your stimulation to be very precise. Dual stimulators are notoriously difficult to fit correctly. Vulvae come in all shapes and sizes and each woman prefers to be stimulated in a certain way. Since the clitoral arm is attached to the main shaft, it can often fail to make contact with the most sensitive part of your clitoris.

You can angle the vibrator, but this will cause the internal arm to break contact with your g-spot. These issues can affect the amount of stimulation you receive. To help combat this issue, look for a dual stimulator with a relatively flexible clitoral arm. It won’t fix the issue completely, but it will help.

Wand Vibrators

It started with the Hitachi Wand; a super powerful vibrator, originally designed to provide deep tissue massage.

Then some clever soul discovered the Hitachi’s success in helping women overcome anorgasmia and the wands popularity as a sex toy exploded.

This, of course, encouraged manufacturers to develop their own versions, but not all wands are created equal.

The large, mains-powered wand vibrators (e.g. the Doxy Massager) are the most powerful sex toys to date, but the rechargeable and battery-operated wands can vary dramatically in intensity.

Recommended to: Power-seekers, or those who struggle to reach orgasm through other methods. Due to its incredible power, I would also recommend the wand to those who usually prefer pin-point stimulation.

The mains-powered wand is ideal for all kinds of external stimulation, including male masturbation and full-body massage.

Avoid if: The mains-powered wand is often not recommended for beginners, due to its intimidating size, intense power and noisy motor, but don’t rule it out if you are struggling to orgasm through other means. Avoid the wand if noise is an important factor (they are often very loud) and if you want a vibrator that you can use internally (you can purchase wand head attachments for some models, but make sure it will fit your wand before purchasing).

Couples Vibrators

The couple’s vibrator is designed to be worn by the female during sexual intercourse or while inserting other sex toys. Couple’s vibrators (like the We-Vibe 4 plus or the Lelo Tara) are usually quite small and tend to be shaped like the letter C.

The idea is to insert one end into the vagina, allowing the other end to rest along your clitoris.

Once inserted, it should remain in place hands-free. Couple’s toys usually come with a slim or flat internal arm.

With the toy taking up little space inside you, you can often enjoy sexual intercourse (and clitoral stimulation) while the toy remains in place.

Recommended to: Women who enjoy hands-free clitoral stimulation while being penetrated.

Avoid if: You need precise stimulation. Just like dual stimulators, couple’s toys can sometimes fit incorrectly, overshooting or undershooting your clitoris. They also have a habit of moving around during intercourse, so you don’t get the stimulation where you need it most. I would also avoid couple’s toys if you already struggle to take your partners penis, as the internal arm will take up some room in your vagina.

Things To Consider Before Making A Purchase

Hopefully, you now have a few categories in mind, but before you begin shopping, there are some important questions to ask.

How big is it?

Some companies will tell you the circumference of the vibrator while others will list the diameter. This can be confusing and could result in you purchasing a toy that is way too large or small. Pay close attention to the measurements. If a company lists the diameter and you want to know the circumference, use an online converter (or multiply the diameter by 3.14) to find your answer. If the company lists the circumference, divide this by 3.14 to find the diameter. I do love me some pi.

If this is your (or your partner’s) first vibrator, I recommend playing it safe and choosing one with moderate proportions. It might be hot to imagine them inserting that 12-inch mega-vibrator, but you could scare them off sex toys altogether. Build up slowly.

What is the texture like?

Is the shaft smooth and streamlined, or does it contain raised texture? The texture and the material used to create the vibrator will have a huge impact on how the toy feels during use. If you want your vibrator to feel quite subtle or gentle, you might want to choose one with minimal texture. The more texture, the more intense the vibrator will feel as you thrust it in and out.

When it comes to materials, you also want to think about friction. Smooth, polished materials (like glass and metal) will glide easily with the smallest amount of lubricant. Silicone and rubber materials create more friction, dragging slightly as they brush back and forth over the skin. This type of material will feel more intense during use.

How many Settings does it have?

Does your new vibrator come with a wide variety of settings, including a few continuous speeds and a selection of pattern modes? The more settings a vibrator has, the more you can experiment with different sensations. You are also more likely to find a setting that suits your (or your partner’s) tastes.

How is it controlled?

Some vibrators come with remote controls, others operate via buttons on the handle. There is even a new wave of vibrators that can be remotely operated via the internet and/or Bluetooth devices. If you suffer from mobility issues, or just want your partner to take control, it might be best to look for a remote control device. If you decide to go technological, double check that your device is compatible with the toy in question.

How is it powered?

Is it mains-powered, rechargeable or battery-operated? If it is mains-operated, does it come with the correct plug/socket for your country? If it is rechargeable, does it come with a mains or a USB charging cable? Does it mention how long a full charge will last? If your new toy is battery-operated, check to see if it comes with batteries, or if you need to order any at the time of your purchase. It is also worthwhile checking to see if the battery size is readily available and for a price you are happy to pay.

What is it made from?

Glass, stainless steel and medical grade silicone are all body-safe and virtually non-porous, so the risk of irritation and infection is low. TPR is your middle-man material. It is usually phthalate free, but the material is porous making it difficult to sterilise. Vibrators made from jelly or Cyberskin materials are not recommended, as the materials are often unstable. They will break down over time, emitting a foul smell and an oily residue. Jelly and Cyberskin is also very porous. If your budget allows, I recommend sticking with the body-safe options.

You should also watch out for cheap metal and glass sex toys. Some metals can rust and cheap glass can break. Try to purchase from well-known, recommended brands.

How noisy is it?

If you share a house with other people, you are probably going to want a quiet vibrator. Unfortunately, many manufacturers label their vibrator as “quiet” or “silent” even when this is not the case. The best thing you can do is find a video review for your chosen vibrator, as this will hopefully allow you to listen to the vibrator when it is switched on. If you cannot find a video review, check out some written reviews and see what other people have to say regarding the noise levels.

Is it Waterproof?

A waterproof vibrator can be used in the bath or shower, which adds to its versatility. Of course, there are other benefits to choosing a waterproof design. First of all, the vibrator can be cleaned more thoroughly after use, since you are able to fully submerge/rinse it. Secondly, a waterproof vibrator is not going to be damaged if you accidentally get it wet during use.

Do You Need To Purchase Anything Else To Use Your New Vibrator Effectively?

Before you check out, I recommend adding a bottle of water-based lubricant to your order. Some sex toy materials create a fair amount of friction, so lubricant is essential for comfort. You should also check whether you need batteries, condoms, sex toy cleaner or a storage pouch, to properly clean and care for your new toy.

Summary

My final peice of advice would be to read some product reviews before making your purchase. A review won’t tell you if you will enjoy the vibrator, but it will help you gather more information about the product from somebody who owns it and has tried it out.

It can take a few attempts to find your perfect sex toy. This guide is designed to help you get that little bit closer, but it can sometimes take a little time to discover what we want from a sex toy. Powerful or gentle, broad or pin-point, we all have our own tastes. Next comes the fun part; discovering what kind of stimulation you enjoy most and finding a sex toy (or three) that delivers.

You could start by browsing through the extensive range of vibrators at forthecloset.co.uk; a sex toy store that offers discreet delivery (which is free if you spend over £30) and a 10% discount for members.

Do you remember purchasing your first vibrator? What was your experience like? Leave your vibrator-related comments and questions in the comment box below.

This article was sponsored by forthecloset.co.uk, a UK based adult retailer, specialising in sex toys, bondage gear and sexy lingerie.

About the Author

Hi! I’m The Gritty Woman. I'm the writer, photographer, and creator of thegrittywoman.com, a leading sex blog, where I share my personal experiences and knowledge on sex, sexuality, body positivity, BDSM and kink.