Shopping For Your First Dildo – A Comprehensive Guide

Shopping For Your First Dildo – A Comprehensive Guide, June 2021

Why should I purchase a clitoral vibrator, I experienced the first of many intense, blended orgasms.

The dildo taught me a lot about my body and the kind of stimulation I enjoyed most.

I would pass this information to my partner and together we would have mind-blowing new experiences.

I got the opportunity to try my first dildo when I was sent a couple for review.

As expected, I couldn’t reach orgasm when I used the dildos alone, but they opened my eyes to a whole new world of sexual pleasure.

Using dildos, I discovered my g-spot and learned how to squirt. When I combined my dildos with a clitoral vibrator, I experienced the first of many intense, blended orgasms. 

The dildo taught me a lot about my body and the kind of stimulation I enjoyed most. I would pass this information to my partner and together we would have mind-blowing new experiences.

I hadn’t anticipated how versatile the dildo could be. The shape, size, texture and material all have an impact on how the dildo will feel during use, so how do you decide which one would suit you best? In the following guide, we will take a look at all the things you should consider when you go shopping for your first dildo.

Size

Size is one of the most important factors to consider when shopping for a new dildo. You don’t want your new toy to languish at the back of your underwear drawer because it is too big to insert or too small to enjoy.

The length and the circumference of the dildo will have a significant impact on how it feels during use, so take some time to consider what size would suit you best.

You can use a tape measure and your fingers/partner’s penis as a guide. If you are shopping for a partner (especially if they are new to sex toys), err on the side of caution and opt for a moderately sized dildo.


Materials

The materials used to create sex toys are not created equal. Some are built to last a lifetime (and more) while others will deteriorate quite quickly. Let’s take a look at some of the most common sex toy materials and discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each.

Silicone

Silicone is one of the most versatile materials used to create sex toys. Tantus) use a grabby silicone (it creates more friction) and this produces a brushing, massaging sensation during use.

The advantage to choosing a dildo made from 100% medical grade silicone is that this material is completely body safe. This material is virtually non-porous and can be cleaned (even sterilised) between uses.

With proper care, this material will last a lifetime. The downside to purchasing a silicone dildo is finding the genuine article.

Many manufacturers will claim that their dildos are made from silicone when they are actually made from a silicone blend or another material altogether. If in doubt, stick to the tried and trusted manufacturers such as Tantus, Lelo, Fun Factory and Vixen Creations.

Metal

Metal is another material that you should consider carefully. Ideally, you want to look for a metal dildo made entirely from medical grade stainless steel, as this material is completely body safe and it will last a lifetime.

Aluminium is another safe alternative. Be wary of cheap metal dildos. Some metals will rust/corrode when exposed repeatedly to moisture, making them unsuitable for use as a sex toy. 

The benefit of owning a high-quality metal dildo is that you can experiment with temperature play. You can heat the dildo in a bowl of warm water, or cool it in a bowl of ice water to experience new sensations. 

The smooth, firm material is also ideal for g-spot stimulation. The downside to using a metal dildo is that they tend to be quite heavy. Thrusting hard and fast with a metal dildo tends to cause arm ache.

It is also worth noting that high-quality metal dildos can be quite expensive compared to other materials. I own a few dildos by a company called Njoy and I would highly recommend them. I also hear good things about a brand called Crowned Jewels. 

Glass

If somebody had asked me to create a sex toy designed for internal use, glass would have been the last material I’d consider. There was a time I would wince at the thought.

Thankfully, folks more imaginative than I decided to give it a try and glass dildos remain popular to this day. Good quality glass dildos are made from borosilicate glass (like Pyrex), which is far more durable than regular glass.

Since borosilicate glass is more resistant to stress and extreme temperature changes, the chances of it breaking during sexual use are extremely low.

When borosilicate glass does break (for example, if you dropped it from a height) it tends to crack or break into chunks rather than splinter. 

The benefits to owning a glass dildo are very similar to the benefits of owning a metal dildo, but there are some notable differences. First of all, glass tends to be lighter, so it creates less stress on the hands, arms and wrists.

Secondly, glass dildos are often cheaper to purchase than metal dildos. Glass dildos are a great choice for g-spot stimulation and temperature play. The downside to owning a glass dildo is that they can chip or break if you mistreat them. If you do drop your glass dildo (especially onto a hard surface) make sure to check it carefully for damage before using it again. 

Wood

Now that you are suitably reassured about glass dildos, allow me to introduce you to the wooden ones. For those who are worried about splinters; put those tweezers down.

Quality wood dildos are sanded until smooth and then coated in varnish, so they glide over the skin like metal or glass. Since the quality of this varnish can vary from brand to brand (some can flake or deteriorate over time) it is best to stick to tried and tested manufacturers like Nobessence.

Wooden dildos are made from natural materials and will vary in colour and weight depending on the wood used. 

Each and every wooden dildo produced is unique. Being smooth and rigid, wooden dildos are ideal for g-spot play. Like metal, wooden dildos can be quite expensive, but this makes sense when you realise they are hand-made from scratch.

Stone

Did you know that scientists recently discovered a 28,000-year-old stone dildo? Now that’s longevity.

While uncommon, it is possible to find quality dildos made from stone. A company called Laid make some fine examples. Most stone dildos are polished (rather than varnished) but there is very little information regarding the porosity of these materials.

Like wood, stone dildos are made from natural materials, so designs will vary. As you can imagine, the downside to choosing a stone dildo is the weight. Just like glass, it is possible to break your stone dildo if dropped from a height.

TPR/TPE

TPR/TPE is a flexible rubber material made from plastics and rubbers. It varies in firmness and flexibility depending on the brand. Since this material is cheap to manufacture, TPR/TPE dildos are usually cheap to purchase. TPR/TPE dildos are usually free from phthalates, but the material can be porous. If in doubt, use a condom.

Jelly

Dildos made from jelly are soft and squishy to the touch, giving them a somewhat realistic feel.

Jelly dildos are made from a blend of inexpensive materials, like PVC and rubber, making them extremely cheap to purchase.

The downside is that the material is porous and can cause irritation during use. If your budget allows, I’d recommend choosing a silicone dildo instead. If not, use a condom with your jelly dildos. 


Design

It is incredibly difficult to find a dildo that can do everything. For example, a firm dildo might excel at providing intense g-spot stimulation, but it won’t feel as realistic as a softer dildo might.

For this reason, you want to consider what you want from your new dildo. Do you want to simulate penetration as realistically as possible, or do you want to enjoy some g-spot stimulation? Will your new dildo be used vaginally, anally or in a strap-on harness? Here are some important factors to consider when browsing for your perfect dildo:

Shape

You might want to choose a straight dildo if you want to simulate penetration. You should also avoid drastic curves if you are choosing a dildo that is pushing your limits size wise. A curved dildo is the best choice for g-spot/prostate stimulation, as the tip of the dildo is more likely to apply pressure to those erogenous zones.

Texture

Smooth, ribbed or covered in stimulating bumps; there are plenty of options out there. The general rule is that the more texture a dildo has, the more intense it will feel during use. Remember that the material type can also affect how the texture feels. The firmer the material, the more intense the texture.

Firmness

A softer dildo will squish and flex with your body, giving it a gentler feel. A rigid material is great for applying more pressure to certain hot spots like the g-spot or prostate.

Aesthetics

The colour and overall look should be one of the last things you consider. After all, the colour/patterns have no impact on how the dildo feels during use. The only exception to this is whether or not to choose a realistic design. Some people are put off by sex toys that look too real, so if you are shopping for a partner, play it safe and choose a non-realistic design.


Lubricant

No matter how wet you get naturally, it is a good idea to pick up some quality lubricant when purchasing your first dildo.

Dildos made from softer materials (like silicone) do not glide as smoothly as a real penis does, so adding a little lubricant can make all the difference.

Water-based lubricant is the most versatile, as it can be used on any sex toy material.

Silicone and oil based lubricants have their place, but I wouldn’t recommend using them on dildos made from unstable or porous materials as it could damage your toys.

Oil can break down certain materials, including latex, which is why you should never use oil based lubricants with a condom. Hopefully, the above guide will help you find your perfect dildo. 

If you are looking for a great place to shop, you will find a huge range of quality dildos at forthecloset.co.uk – a UK based adult retailer, specialising in sex toys, bondage gear and sexy lingerie.

About the Author

Hi! I’m The Gritty Woman. I'm the writer, photographer, and creator of thegrittywoman.com, a leading sex blog, where I share my personal experiences and knowledge on sex, sexuality, body positivity, BDSM and kink.