They say that good things come in three’s and that certainly seems to be true for sex machines. The Blue Balls XL Fucking Machine was kindly sent to me from sexmachines.co.uk, a UK based company who specialise in portable sex machines. They stock a little bit of everything, from spanking machines (really!) to the world famous Sybian. The Blue Balls XL would be the second sex machine I have reviewed for this company and after such a fantastic experience with the first (the Sneaky Pete Pro Sex Machine) I couldn’t wait to try it out.
The Blue Balls XL is a mains powered, thrusting sex machine that can be used with a variety of dildos or male masturbation sleeves. Set on a tilt frame, the Blue Balls key feature is its amazing angle adjustability. With the turn of a screw, the main body of the machine can be swivelled over a 140 degree arc. This allows you to experiment with a variety of sexual positions, including those that are not possible with standard sex machines (e.g. standing up).
When you purchase the Blue Balls XL (basic package) it will arrive with the following components:
- The Blue Balls Sex Machine.
- 1 x SexFlesh male masturbator with vulva entrance.
- 1 x SexFlesh realistic dildo with Vac U Lock compatible base.
- 1 x Silicone Anal Prober with Vac-U-Lock compatible base.
- 1 x single speed vibrator (This also doubles as the machine’s speed controller).
- 1 x Vac-U-Lock adaptor (used to attach Vac-U-Lock compatible sex toys to the rod arm).
You will also receive a FREE mains powered magic wand vibrator (worth £59.99) and a bottle of Slide Lubricant.
Sexmachines.co.uk also stock a wide variety of adaptors and accessories, which can be purchased individually or as a package deal when you first place your order. Some of my personal favourites include:-
- The universal dildo holder (Which allows you to attach most flat-based dildos to the rod arm).
- The Fleshlight adaptor (Which allows you to attach Fleshlight masturbators to the rod arm).
- The Vac-U-Lock dildo doubler (Which allows you to attach two Vac-U-Lock compatible dildos to the rod arm at the same time).
- The 8 inch extension rod (Attach this to the rod arm for even more reach).
Specifications and Features:
- The machine/frame is made from highly strengthened, corrosion resistant, industrial steel.
- Graphite bushing for quiet operation.
- Variable thrust speed (from 0 to 300 thrusts per minute).
- Adjustable stroke length (up to 6 inches).
- Balanced engineering/weight for added stability.
- Adjustable height (up to 15 inches).
- Adjustable tilt frame, allowing angles up to 140 degrees.
- Torque (40lb). Horsepower (1/2hp).
- Power compatible with all countries (110v – 240v). Comes with compatible plug.
- Quick assembly/disassembly.
- Weight 12.8kg
- CE Certified, ROHS compliant and comes with a 1 year worldwide warranty.
Our Experience with the Blue Balls XL Machine:
Arrival and Set Up:
Sexmachines.co.uk package their sex machines inside a discreet brown box, which is great because the Blue Balls XL packaging is not discreet. It would have been nice to use the original packaging for long term storage, but it contains pictures of naked women and the sex toys contained within the box. This is obviously not ideal if you have children or share a house, as the box is just too big to hide successfully. In the end, I decided to dispose of this box and store the machine inside the brown box that sexmachines.co.uk used for postage.
The Blue Balls XL arrives flat-packed, so assembly is required before use. It took us approximately ten minutes to initially put the machine together, but this reduced to approximately five minutes as we became familiar with the set up process.
You have two options when dismantling the machine between uses; you can either take it apart completely and store it flat inside the box, or you can unscrew the main body from the frame and store it in two larger parts. If you decide on the latter, it only takes a minute or two to assemble and disassemble between uses. One final thing to note; this machine does require an Alan Key (Hex Key) to build/disassemble.
Before using the Blue Balls XL, we spent some time familiarising ourselves with the controls and adjustable features. This machine can be adjusted in three different ways:-
To adjust the height of the machine, you need to loosen the two corresponding black bolts and turn the large wheel on the side of the tilt frame. This wheel will raise and lower the main body of the machine. Once you find your ideal position, simply tighten up the two black bolts.
Before you alter the angle of the machine, you have to make sure that the height is set correctly. If the machine sits too low on the tilt frame, the back/front will hit the floor as you swivel. For full angle adjustability, it is best to set the height of the machine at least half way up the tilt frame. Once that is done, you need to loosen the two corresponding black bolts (support the machine while you do this) and swivel the machine until you reach your desired angle. Finally, tighten up the two bolts.
To alter the thrust length (from 1.25 inches to 6.2 inches, according to my measurements), you need to find the metal slider at the end of the rod arm. Here you will find a metal wing nut which you need to loosen. Once loosened, slide the rod up or down the slider to set the thrust length. Finally, tighten the wing nut.
Operating the Machine:
With the height, angle and thrust length set, we plugged the purple vibrator into the USB socket on the machine. This vibrator comes with one button control (which turns the vibrations on the vibrator on and off) and a scrolling wheel. It is this wheel that controls the thrust speed on the machine. When you click the scrolling wheel forward, the Blue Balls XL will begin thrusting at a very slow speed. Simply scroll the wheel forward to increase the thrust speed (up to 300 thrusts per minute) or backwards to slow it down.
Using the Machine:
After setting up the machine, I carried it upstairs and placed it on the bed. The Blue Balls XL is a portable sex machine, but it still requires reasonable upper body strength to lug around. Once I had caught my breath, I began to inspect the four sex toys that had been included in the box. I have pretty high standards when it comes to sex toy materials, preferring non-porous materials such as silicone, glass and metal. As with most sex machines, the toys included with the Blue Balls XL failed to live up to my personal standards. Two of the toys included are made from silicone (or a silicone blend), but the other two felt oily to the touch and had a strong chemical odour.
Thankfully, sexmachines.co.uk stock a range of adaptors (some of which I own), which allowed us to attach our favourite sex toys to the machine instead. If you are also fussy about sex toy materials, I highly recommend picking up these extras attachments along with your machine.
With the Tantus Adam attached to the rod arm, I began to experiment with the thrusting mechanism. The first thing to impress me was just how broad the thrust speed range is. On its lowest speed, the Blue Balls XL would complete approximately 20 thrusts per minute (TPM), which is much slower than the 60 TPM on the Sneaky Pete Pro. At top speed, this powerful machine reaches an intensely fast 300 TPM, which is 60 TPM faster than the Sneaky Pete Pro. As somebody who enjoys a slower, teasing penetration, I absolutely loved the lower speeds on the Blue Balls XL. This was also true for my partner, who needs to build up slowly and gently during anal penetration.
It isn’t just the thrust speed where the Blue Balls excels. When it comes to angles (and positions), this is the most versatile sex machine I have ever used. It was so exciting to discover all of the positions I could get into. I could enjoy all of the usual “on the bed” positions, such as missionary and doggy, or place the machine on the floor and use it while I was sat at my computer chair, bent over my desk and even standing straight up. With so many angles to choose from, I could always get into a position that resulted in intense g-spot stimulation and squirting orgasms. It was a mind blowing experience.
One of the greatest thrills we got when using the Blue Balls XL, was the ability to watch each other use it. We love to watch the other using sex toys, but this machine took things to another level entirely. I mean, what could be sexier than watching/hearing your partner take a pounding as they lean up against the wall? The visual aspect was a huge turn on for the both of us.
For such a powerful machine, the Blue Balls XL is surprisingly quiet during use. The only sound it emits is an airy whooshing as the rod pumps back and forth. This sound does get louder as you increase the thrust speed, but this machine is the quietest in my collection to date. If you are curious about the noise, take a look at my video review at the end of this page.
The biggest issue I had with the Blue Balls XL, was the tightening and loosening of the black bolts. To stop the heavy machine slipping down the tilt frame, you need to tighten the bolts extremely tightly. On some occasions, I couldn’t seem to tighten them enough and I would have to ask Mr Gritty to give them an extra turn. Due to the extreme tightness, I would then find it impossible to loosen the bolts if I wanted to make adjustments. This could be a little frustrating, but I was lucky enough to have help.
Comparing the Blue Balls XL with the Sneaky Pete Pro:
Both of these sex machines have impressed me, but each has a few advantages over the other. When it comes to thrust speed and angle variety, the Blue Balls has the edge, as it has more options to choose from. However, the Sneaky Pete Pro is quicker (and easier) to set up and dismantle. It also seems sturdier (less likely to slip out of position) during use. I also prefer the semi-enclosed design of the Sneaky Pete and feel that it comes with a better thrust speed controller.
Because neither machine is the runaway winner, I find it difficult to recommend one over the other. It really comes down to your own needs/tastes. If variety and versatility are the most important factors to you, then the Blue Balls XL would be the best choice. If style, function and ease of use are the most important factors, then I would recommend the Sneaky Pete Pro.
The Blue Balls XL is the most versatile sex machine I have tried to date. I absolutely loved the variety it offered, including speeds, angles and depths. I am also impressed at the variety of adaptors that sexmachines.co.uk stock, as the ones I own helped to further broaden our experiences with this machine.
The only thing that let down my experience was my struggle with tightening the bolts. This could be a little frustrating and I would hesitate to recommend this machine to anyone with a weak grip or reduced strength in their hands/wrists. However, if you don’t think this will be an issue for you, then I really can’t recommend this machine highly enough.
The Blue Balls XL Fucking Machine was kindly sent to me free of charge from sexmachines.co.uk for an honest review. This does not affect, or sway my opinions of the product and I will always portray my own experiences, good or bad. Affiliate links are not used within this post